Life is a difficult thing to deal with. How do i deal with a friends that i hate? but i love them all the same. Damn it I don't know how i feel. I have mixed emotions. I want my friend to be happy. I feel like my gut is being punched. I feel like My friends don't understand me. I don't think i under stand me. Why can't I just live in the moment. Why can't i just have fun and talk with some new random people.

So today has turned out to be a shitacular day. This blog is more like a bitch and moan spot. but im kinda annyoed. my external hd died and i can't believe i went and bought food for people who didn't come over. I feel like crap but i kinda wanna hurt myself. I feel like the song johnny cash.where he talks about hurting himself to make himself feel pain. im sick of being me i want it to end. Waking up is jsut a chore.