So that was an extremely weird dream. Chaseing after 3 different girls all of them who found a away to hurt me. I t was quite a strange dream. the first was a beautful young ebony woman. with curely stright hair. the next was someoen from the past who made me chase her from one end of the strip to the other with very a ton of things that blocked my way. the thrid was Hanna montana? except her voice wasn't the same and heit really wasn't like anyone i know. It was a very strange dream but my heart kinda hurt through it all. also there was me sitting at a poker table and then making a burger wow what a strange dream.

Isn't it a weird double standard as a father that you want your son to be a Ladies man, but on the other hand you Want your daughter to be a prude? 18 years from now what do you say to your daughter brings home guy after guy? But at the same time if your son brings home girl after girl do you pat him on the back?

In dealing with a mother, aunt, and grandmother who all to some degree are all hypochondriac it is at times difficult to deal with their anxis and theories. They tend to bring about every problem for everyone onto them selfs'. With this being said, I am at times a hypochondriac, germaphobe, deprecating, and death anxious. It can make at times hard to go out, the mental side of it all being that it affects physical body more than it should. Fear of going out fear of humiliated fear in general all lead to becoming a person who is a shut in. That prefers to hide behind a computer screen.

It hurts, There's a pain in my chest
A deep gaping hole in my chest, The darkness fills my body and my soul
My soul feels like its leaking out
The feeling that are supposed to be there aren't there.
The task in front is not too big but it seems like nothing I do
Even if i look forward to something its just disappointment with
What if's

I'm searching for tranquility, I want balance, Would i be happy if i left it all behind.
Take my shot, do my thing, grind it out?
or Do I stay in mediocrity and remain content with being lucky.
Lucky that my family has some money. I'm lucky that I don't have to pay rent, I'm lucky that my parents will support me in what ever I do.

What do I do? Should i stay or should I go.
Life is too short to not do what you like
I'm just so tired of grinding.

The education system is messed up. I can relate for students who need help in subject matter in order for them to pass their classes. I can also relate to them having problems. In all reality is it necessary to pass these children when they do not posses the skills to move to the next level? Granted the children will be scrutinized because they aren't as smart as their piers but when the child shows no effort to improve. Then why should we waste our resources on them.
This county still needs people do things that do not posses college educations. Those members of society that need to work at the restaurants.

The Idea that everyone is equal is a load of crap. Everyone should have the same rights, but to say everyone has the same potential is insane. I suppose the rant begins with the idea that the schools have enacted a no child left behind. So instead of students repeating the grades that they fail they pass them because no child left behind. Even though in the 4th or 5th grade they can barely form a sentence. Or in the 8th grade they can't figure out how to plot the coordinates on the graph. I understand that it can be difficult subjects sometimes. But if your the 4th grade math level and have been passed to the 8th. There is something wrong with the system. I could undestand maybe 6th grade or 7th grade which would make the person only 1 or 2 years behind. Thats not an impossible task to catch up 1 or 2 years of basic math. But to be 4 years behind is no common place. These kids don't want to be in tutoring. but they are here and they need to at least respect the idea that they are they for a reason.

I'm not a loud person, I don't yell i don't want to raise my voice in anger. We will try to do something new. We will be positive. we will get our groups together.